The Blog

Side Quests

The toll of bad decisions

To: Paying Customers
Sub: Apology
Hello Paying Customers,
I hope you all are doing well. I am sorry about the last week. I have found myself making bad decisions again because of which I could not write anything. I know this has made some of you very upset and you want to understand what happened. I believe this is a completely valid expectation so I am very carefully going to state why I cannot tell you what happened:

I don’t want to.
But don’t you all worry, this week is 2x because why not. Who does not like 2x? I know you do you capitalists. Twice the content (if my memory serves me well), Two times the potty mouth for extra fucking spice and 2X the photos. Plus… the events from last week and this week will not be in chronological order. Perfect right?

Quest for Purna Poli

You know when you have the most normal day planned and out of nowhere you interact with someone and suddenly you are now in a side quest that takes 5 fucking hours to finish and all the hopes of doing the normal shit you planned slowly dies. You reach the point where you don’t even care about your day you just want to see the result of this side quest. Yeah I feel you. This is me most of the days. The “bad decisions”.

About a year ago, I was waiting for my cab outside my office and AK-47 was standing next to me. Back then I did not know him that well so I was not speaking to him. This mf goes “muje puran poli khana hai”.

Puran poli will be referred to as pp hereafter

I could not even understand what he said. I thought he was talking about cigs so I told him “man I don’t know but If you find it let me know” or something like that, and he proceeded to explain to me that he is talking about pp and not cigs. The first thought I had after this was how I have walked so far down the path of depravity that everything sounds like a cig. The second thought was the fact that I have not had pp since my childhood so I told him he could come to my place and we will order some and eat while smoking. Brother we only smoked. There was no pp. No one sells pp on zomato. Since that day I have been trying to find pp but fail every time. I even ordered it on Blinkit and it was out of stock the moment I tried to pay. Sad fucking joke.

Last Wednesday he called me again. At first I thought something has gone terribly wrong at work. There is no way he would call me right now. I pick up and he asks if I am home. Now home I was, I skipped work day, I was also confused why he is asking me that so I enquired. He did not even answer me he just said he will come to me in an hour which I obviously agreed to. Of course. I like doing side quests, especially if they result in me getting to eat pp [foreshadowing].

When he reached home, I got to know he had a date which ended in 20 minutes because the girl he was out with had to leave as her ████████ got ████████
Lmao man wtf!!. I don’t even know what to say. I asked him what he wanted to do since he was here now and I wanted to get something to eat. Guess what we decided
Holige. Because that is close enough to pp. I have given up on finding pp in Banglore. So we got on our bikes. I had to post a letter to my friend brome as well so I decided to do it on the way.
Man the people at the post office do not know how to post a post card. Lady was turning through pages of stamps to put on my post card and kept looking at me as if I am asking her to commit all 7 sins at once. Man, just pick one. Then she asks me for 6 Rupees and I am not allowed use UPI. What is this side quest difficulty level. Digital India my ass why does India Post not have UPI? Did no one think of printing a QR code from one of the 200 printers they have in the office. What I am supposed to do? Beg for coin outside the post office? This is a sick joke -1/10. I am sticking to Raja Logistics from now onwards. I left without posting it. We had to go to MTR and it was about to be peak traffic time which I did not want to deal with.

There is something wrong with us. We can never find parking when we go out to eat. We had to drive all the way around MTR twice to find a place to park 400 meters away outside a shady bar called RAJAWAT BAR. I also had to waddle my bike in between an auto and a scooter and the auto driver looked at me struggle for a minute and did not move his auto one inch. Fat ass idiot. Anyway, we reached MTR and it did not look like they would have holige (spoilers: they did not have holige). We made our way up and sat with an Uncle because there were no other tables left. I asked the guy there about holige and he said no but he was serving poori saagu to the Uncle we were sitting with and you know what, I don’t mind having that. It’s yummy. AK-47 said he would have it too because he is now hungry from eating my nicotex. I don’t even know how that is possible, but sure he ate two plates so I am not going to question it.

Workplace

Ever since I have resigned I am practically ascending. I play video games. I touch grass. I write rude replies to idiot devs when they say something moronic on slack.

Besides all this, I caught up with my old boss along with other people from work. It had been a while since I spoke to him and this seemed like a fitting time to do it.

After drinking booze with boss my friends and I decided to spend some more time at one of our places. That entire time all we talked about was how unfit we are and AK-47 kept asking us to do pushups. I did eventually but bro was not giving up. He even did pushups while smoking and him and I decided to go for a run in Cubbon Park.

Football & Night Rides

I was invited to play football. Now there are two things I want to make clear. I have not played football since 10th grade and when I used to play we never won a single match. I have also realized spending time with DD that my understanding of football is very limited even though I played in a team for five years. With all that in mind, I was initially very hesitant but I was assured that no one knows how to play and the court is 1/3 of the actual field so I agreed.

What a bunch of liars. Not only did most of the people play very well, they were actually fucking serious about that game. One guy kept complaining that the teams are unfair and he has all the bad players. My brother, look around you. Ten people with a desk job and beer bellies are playing in field that is barely big enough for squirrel Olympics and you are complaining about having bad teammates. Middle of the game we joined our side of the court to play with another group so that both of us have full court. It was only at that point I started having fun even though those guys were even more serious. We lost that match. Like I said I have never won a single match of football. I am doomed. At the end another person from my team was complaining to his friend how our team was good enough but no one listens and only if “people executed what I am saying in the game we would win”. Here is a suggestion. Go play counter strike because you are not touching grass even outside you idiot. At least have the balls to go the person you think played bad and tell him what to do.

I was happy though I had fun. I enjoyed doing something physical after so long. By the end my legs were sore and I was completely out of breath and after all this there is only one thing left to do. Go home, eat food and rest
How can I possibly go home at 10:30PM. Don’t you all know me? I am the side quest man and this time I instigated it. I asked DD and AK-47 if they would like to go on a bike ride because we were supposed to go the night before but I cancelled it. Not a good idea. Had fun but not a good idea. By the time we left it was already 1AM (i think). My body was begging me to sleep and we could not see much. It’s actually difficult to ride at night. We got back at around 4AM. I asked them if they will be coming to work tomorrow. All of us kind of agreed to come but none of us showed up.

Running in Cubbon Park with AK-47

It did not happen. Bro stayed up all night installing Arch linux. He is going down the path of virginity and not seeing sunlight again. I completely support this. Anyone who installs Arch for the 5th time surely has control over their life.

But I was quite excited to go and I wanted to leave my house for a while and spend some time peacefully. I thought I’ll just go to Lalbagh and spend some time there. I took my notebook because I was not planning to run. I just wanted to sit in silence for a while and write down my thoughts (for the blog as well as things I had been thinking about). I was not sure how to do that though. Everywhere I looked there were couples on benches and kids making noise. I wanted to be left alone. I was ready to go home when I spotted a girl jotting down something under a tree and I thought if she is doing it without a problem so can I. The only problem was she had come prepared. She had a blanket and a pillow and everything. I was on the other hand carrying my phone with 5% battery my riding gear 200 rupees and the tiniest notebook I could find. I did find myself a tree to write under though. I did not write much because it’s difficult to fit anything in that notebook. I spoke to the girl as well because I was curious about what she is writing. I was imagining she will say something crazy like screenplay or something idk but it turned out to be kind of similar to what I was doing and now that I think about it, it makes sense. Why would someone come to Lalbagh to write screenplay. She was kind enough to let me take a picture of her notebook for the blog. When I showed her mine she asked me how do I even fit anything in that.

Fellas, I hate to break it to you. size does matter.

I also spoke to her because I’m trying to meet new people. I often think about talking to strangers but rarely follow through, so I figured why not give it a shot. But as I’m writing this, I realize there’s a problem: out of the 6 random people I’ve spoken to in the last two weeks, I didn’t ask any of them for their contact info, and I didn’t share mine either. This is an issue because when I say “meeting new people”, I actually mean making new friends. So if any of you 6 are reading this, hmu.

After that i just walked around for a while and took some pictures that I’ll dump here.

Song Segment

Reading

I am trying to get back into reading. It has been a while since I have finished reading a book after starting it. Currently I am reading Sherlock Holmes because it was gifted to me last Christmas and I never picked it up. I do need suggestions so please send some. If you are going to recommend a self help book, please get help. Anything else is fine.

Misc Pictures